Therapy with Harming Fathers, Victimized Children and their Mothers after Parental Child Sexual Assault by Dale Tolliday Jo Spangaro Lesley Laing

Author:Dale Tolliday, Jo Spangaro, Lesley Laing [Dale Tolliday, Jo Spangaro, Lesley Laing]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781138286467
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Taylor & Francis
Published: 2018-05-01T00:00:00+00:00

Another young woman described how she came to understand how the tactics the offender used to disempower her mother had blinded her mother to his sexual abuse of her:

When I went to the program I realised how he was hiding it and how he was being so awful to my mum that she couldn’t see anything, she could only see him because he was the main figure in the household, and everyone else just had to do things for him…

It is also important to attend to the relationship between the victimized child and her siblings. As argued in Chapter 6, siblings should be offered treatment in their own right, because of the impacts of incest and its disclosure on their family life. Additionally, intervention that provides them with accurate information about what has happened and about the harming father’s responsibility is important as this can also play a role in the victimized child’s recovery as the barriers erected between them are dismantled. For example, after disclosure of very long-term sexual abuse by her father, Elise suddenly changed from a quiet, compliant girl to an angry one who stayed out late drinking and who screamed abuse at her mother. Although her father had admitted to the abuse and had left the home, her behaviour became increasingly more challenging for her mother, who was at her wit’s end. Her two brothers were furious with Elise for breaking up the family and for upsetting their mum, especially as their dad was doing all the ‘right’ things and getting therapy. When the superficiality of the father’s apparent acceptance of responsibility was exposed and he made detailed disclosures to his wife about the tactics he had used both to abuse Elise and to perpetuate her isolation from the others in the family following disclosure, this new information that became available to the family was able to change her relationship with not only her mother but with her brothers.

Yeah, well both of my brothers have both become aware of why I used to be such a little bitch. My oldest brother and I have become very close since the program because he’s realised that. Now he’s always inviting me out with his friends and I think he’s realised that I’m not a pain.

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